3 weeks ago this evening, Luke handed me the phone and shrugged. Anyone who knows me doesn't call. They text. I was confused.
I answered and heard, "Sister Reynolds, this is President Keller..." and then I think I stopped listening for a minute because I couldn't hear over the rapid fire pounding of my heart.
Eventually I heard, "...tomorrow, 8:00? Will that work?"
Fast forward to the next night at 8. I'm sitting at the stake center facing President Keller and he is telling me that they're calling me to be [you can laugh here, I did - because this is not a calling I have ever heard of!] the stake girl's camp food coordinator.
We chatted for a minute and then he said something that I keep thinking back to.
"You can accept this calling and say yes right now. Or you can say you'll think about it and come back tomorrow to talk to me and say yes then. You are the only one for this calling."
The funny thing is, I didn't feel pressured to accept that calling. Just reassurance that it was, indeed, my calling.
Now, this post really has nothing to do with [ahem] being the stake girl's camp food coordinator, and everything about those 5 words - YOU CAN SAY YES TODAY.
This grief road is a tricky one to navigate.
There are pitfalls and hidden traps that suck you in without warning and take away your ability to think, to breathe, to move forward for a while.
There are moments of brilliant, heart soothing comfort that give you respite and help rebuild the foundation of your faith.
And there are moments in between. I sometimes wonder if those in between moments are the hardest. They're the ones where you aren't sure what to feel. Are you sad? Angry? Happy? Confused? Unsettled? Anxious? Okay? Worried? More than likely it's all of those all at once.
You start to doubt just about everything about yourself.
And you can feel yourself pulling away from the people who love you and want to help you.
You feel yourself pulling away from the things you love to do.
Why? Because in those in between moments, you can't make things matter.
But here's the deal.
Those things do matter.
Those people matter.
What is it that you need on one of those in between days? Is it a nap? Is it a chocolate bar? Is it a milkshake or a big cheeseburger or a little retail therapy? Possibly, yes. And if that's the case, I highly recommend getting that. Within reason of course.
Here's where, at least for me, those five words - YOU CAN SAY YES TODAY - come in to play.
I can say yes to prayer.
I can say yes to scripture study.
I can say yes to a friend asking if they can help [oh is this ever a hard one for me!!!].
I can say yes to a hug.
I can say yes to Luke bringing dinner home instead of me feeling beaten down because I couldn't manage to get dinner on the table that night. Again.
But here's the biggest one...
I can say yes to service.
I can say yes to helping someone else.
I can say yes to sending a text or a card or a pizza to someone that is struggling.
Because in doing that, I'm saying yes, I see you.
I understand you.
I'm not judging you.
I love you.
We all need someone to see us.
To love us.
Once in a while, those around us ask for help.
Most of the time they don't.
We have to be listening.
That's my calling.
So when I'm listening and I get that prompting to just be nice...
I CAN SAY YES TODAY!
And so can you...