[it's almost 2015]

The morning was spent budgeting (double ick), organizing the pantry (ick), menu planning (a little less ick), and baking a delicious Texas Sheet Cake with the Goose (not at all ick!).

Since Saturday evening, Grammy has been feeling progressively more yucky, so when she asked to go to the dr. today, Luke jumped on the chance.  They're there now.  Haven't heard what it is that's ailing her.  My guess is it's the same gomboo that plagued McKayslin and I for the past week.  Luke seems to have held out on the sickness.  Hopefully he won't get hit right before he has to go back to work...

The house is very quiet right now.  Almost too quiet.

The morning was filled with lots of discussion, a little wondering, and a whole lot of thinking.  That, combined with the now quiet, has my brain kicked into overdrive and my freak out mode in full force.  

This afternoon, Luke and the girls will do a drive by to see Kenton (with a wind chill of well below zero, a drive by will have to do - sorry little buddy!).  I will do a drive by when I head down to school to pick up a few things to work on.  Need to get my phonics lessons planned and prepped and caught up before Monday hits.  And homework for the next couple of weeks.  And perhaps a couple of sets of emergency sub plans depending on what our friend Shauna might need.

The tree will come down this afternoon.  Or tomorrow depending on how things go at the dr. with Grammy.  And with that, we've survived our 2nd Christmas without Kenton.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.  Our traditional three gifts should bring laughs and fun and memories (which will bring some sadness, some tears, and a whole lot of missing our boy).  We'll light fireworks at the cemetery at midnight, and come home for sprinkle filled pancakes with whipped cream.  

And just like that, 2015 will be here.  The 2nd year to start without our boy.  On the 22nd, we'll mark 2 years that Kenton has been gone.

I think of that, and I wonder - are you proud of us, Bubs?  Do you miss us as much as we miss you?  Do you think of us as often as we think of you?  

And I wonder how we've made it almost two full years without that smile, those hugs, that laugh, and all that love.  Or how we'll make it another year...