8 weeks. Sometimes it feels like you have been gone forever. We miss you. A lot. We still cry nearly every day, but every once in a while, we go a whole day without tears (crying in the shower or the middle of the night doesn't count, right?!). We talk about you often, lots of memories and remember whens.
People keep telling us how strong we are. Or that we're amazing. That's probably because they only see us when we have our "game faces" on during the day. Because we certainly don't feel very strong, and we certainly don't feel amazing. We are just plugging along day after day trying to adapt, adjust, and heal.
I hate Tuesdays.
7 weeks ago, on a Tuesday, we had your funeral and laid your mortal remains to rest.
8 weeks ago, on a Tuesday, was the last time we heard your voice, held your hand, gave you hugs, and were together as an earthly family of 4.
I know that families are forever. This is the last family photo we have, taken that last Friday in the hospital - the week after they told us your leukemia and GVHD were untreatable - the day we spent all day playing our favorite games and watching our favorite movies...making forever memories. We have a pretty great forever family.
I'm so grateful for that knowledge.
But it doesn't make me hate Tuesdays any less.
We have so many memories. And, gratefully, so few regrets. We're doing our best to honor our promise to keep up with our family traditions and to do fun things with McKayslin.
I'd better go. Time to get the Little Goose woken up and ready for school. She misses you so much. We all do.
Love you, handsome!