{April 9, 2103}

April 9, 2103

Good Morning, Handsome!

Love you!

It's snowing today.  I know, right?!

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about what I wanted to write this week.  Lots of ideas have come, and I've started a list to help me remember.  There are a couple of things that have come up every time I think of you, so those are the things we'll talk about today.  ;)

The first is kind of a silly fun little memory...remember back in June when your hair started to fall out?  How you could just pull it out in chunks and it didn't hurt?  And how cousin Rachel came to visit and had so much fun pulling your hair out with you?!  (Weirdo, lol).  And then it started to bug you because it was everywhere.  And it was itchy.  So McKayslin and I went on an adventure to buy some clippers.  Daddy shaved your head (you were SO brave even though it really made you sad!) and then you and McKayslin shaved Daddy's head.

 For the next few days after that, when I would kiss you on the forehead at bedtime, you'd turn your face up to me again, like Dopey in Snow White, for another kiss.  I'd take your ears, turn your face down, and kiss your little bald head again.  :)  Love that memory.  You always could find the sunshine and fun in any situation.

Last Friday after I wrote to you, I was feeling so down, so sad.  McKayslin decided she wanted a friend to come play (can't blame her because I certainly wasn't a barrel of fun!). She called Jelly and they decided to play at Jelly's house.  At that instant, I had the most overwhelming need to go to the temple.  It was quite strange, actually, because I dressed so quickly in a dress that I almost didn't even remember doing it.

I dropped McKayslin off and asked if she could stay long enough for me to go to the temple.  Of course, Callie said yes.  On the way in, I was listening to one of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir CDs that Todd, Cortnee, and baby brought you at the hospital.  And it was raining.  The weather fit my mood perfectly.  I took this picture just before entering the temple...

...and posted it with this portion of the hymn Where Can I turn for Peace:Here is my solace. Here when my aching grows. Here is the quiet hand to calm my anguish. He answers privately. Reaches my reaching. In my Gethsemane...Savior and friend. Gentle the peace He finds...constant He is and kind. Love without end.

I entered the temple in tears, with such a burning in my heart, knowing that I NEEDED to be there that day.  I quickly dressed and entered the chapel.  I picked up the Book of Mormon and started reading in Mosiah (where we are as a family).  Reading about Abinidi and his faith reminded me so much of you.  Your faith never wavered.  Even facing such trials, knowing you would not be healed, you never wavered.  Your example strengthens me still.  As I proceeded through the endowment session, I had the very distinct feeling that you were on one side of me, and Sister Ruth was on the other side.  There is a connection there.  I think, perhaps, that you helped teach her.

In the Celestial Room, that impression was deepened, and I could feel the love and strength you needed me to feel that day.  I picked up the triple combination in the Celestial Room, intending to read more from Mosiah, but instead just let the book fall open.  Coincidence that it opened to D&C 138?  I think not.

D&C 138...

56. Even before they were born, they, with many others, received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men.

57. I beheld that the faithful elders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.

Yep, there's a connection there.  So proud of you.  Your faith, your knowledge of the gospel, your love of others remind us to do a little more, to be a little stronger.

As I left the temple, I couldn't help but notice the difference in myself.  Nor could I ignore this...

I paused to take this photo, captioning it with this portion of the hymn There is Sunshine in my Soul (because that is how I felt):

There is music in my soul today...and Jesus listening can hear the songs I cannot sing. There is gladness in my soul today...and hope and praise and love, for blessings which He gives me now, for joys laid up above. There is sunshine in my soul.

You remind us often that you're close.  Mostly with sunshine smiles.  And sometimes other ways also.  There's that funny little incident with the movie Megamind the other day.  :)  McKayslin and I still laugh about that one.  And Sunday at the cemetery - the sunshine, the stopped wind.  You freaked Margo out a bit.  Still playing jokes.  Still making us smile.

We'll stop by the cemetery today.  Bring you some balloons.  You know the drill.  ;)

You're never far away.  And always in our hearts.

Thanks for being awesome!

Love you son!

Love,

Mom