{April 5, 2013}

April 5, 2013

Dear Kenton,

Hey, buddy!  I know I'm late writing this week.  It's been a tough week for us.

Last year at this time, Spring Break, you spent the week with Grammy and "working" for Uncle Boyd.  I say "working," because to you, it wasn't work, it was pure awesomeness!  I'm so glad you had that experience.  You loved every minute of the heat, the rain, the mud, the "hey, chucko, that doesn't smell like mud," the calves, the irrigating...you loved it all.  I still chuckle when I think of the e-mail you sent telling us that you accidentally swore at a cow... "I meant to say DUMB cow, but that's NOT what came out! LOL!"  Who would have ever guessed that you'd never get that opportunity again?

We spent last weekend on a random roadtrip adventure that you would have loved!  Daddy and McKayslin are getting better at "tripping" the way you and I like to roadtrip - get in the car and drive till something looks interesting, stop and explore, get in the car and drive some more.  I often wonder if you and Aunt Emma are having wonderful roadtrip adventures in Heaven.  Do you get to take roadtrips in Heaven?!

Friday we headed to Grammy's after school/work.  McKayslin stayed with Grammy while Daddy and I went on a date.  Saturday morning we had waffles and Grammy syrup, and then JaNae set up an egg hunt for Lillian and McKayslin.  They had lots of fun hunting eggs.  Shortly after that we headed for Boise.  That's a long old boring drive.

Once in Boise, McKayslin stayed with Aunt Kami and those cousins at their hotel while Daddy, Uncle Kenny, Uncle Don, Aunt Jennica, and I went through a session at the Boise temple.  Such peace is found in the temple, and I always feel you just a little closer when we're there.  It was a beautiful temple and a wonderful afternoon.  We picked McKayslin up, had some dinner, changed clothes at our hotel, and went out to Uncle Don's so McKayslin could dye Easter Eggs with those cousins.  Such fun.  She made the most beautiful "dragon" egg that was a dark turquoise color...and one that was less than beautiful, an "amberish, brownish" egg that I still say was puce.  ;)  Back to the hotel for some swimming.

Last time we were in Boise is one of the only times I went swimming with you guys at a hotel (and never did I go here at home).  I'm sorry for that.  This week has been really hard because instead of remembering all the happy awesome times, my mind keeps focusing on the "should haves" and the "I wish I would haves."  Daddy found a quote from one of the general authorities that tells us that discouragement is Satan working on us.  That's exactly how it feels this week...dark and sad.  All three of us have struggled more than usual this week.  General conference is tomorrow and Sunday.  I am excited to listen to the messages.  I know there will be many that are meant to help heal my heart. I'm sad for Daddy to have to go to the Priesthood Session without you...you've gone with him every year since you turned 8.  Let him know you're there, k?  He's going to need that.

On our way home from Boise, we stopped at Shoshone Falls (they were so dry this time, nothing like when we went!) and also at City of Rocks.  We found your name on Camp Rock again.  Hiked around a bit.  Enjoyed the sunshine.  On the way home, Bertha wasn't being too helpful (imagine that, lol!), so Daddy "followed the signs" to get us home...55+ miles on random dirt roads in the middle of Idaho.  It.was.awesome.

This week we've done lots of cleaning and organizing.  Still a long ways to go, but the house is starting to feel less suffocating.  Found a set of my favorite pictures of you from Uncle Kenny and Aunt Kami's wedding reception.  They made me smile.  "Broke his head" - always a favorite from when you were 1.

Your headstone is almost finished. We're so grateful for Brown Monuments. They're working hard to make it the perfect memorial piece for your body's resting place. We have the porcelin piece for the back - one of your horse drawings, one of the last ones you did in December. It's beautiful. When we stopped at the cemetery this week, our Tuesday with Kenton Tradition, there were some gifts there from your friends. We know that some of them came from Dylan, but there were others that we don't know who left them. A pinwheel, so brightly colored and spinning in the wind, and a 6 pack of IBC Cream Soda - your favorite! Once in a while we find a letter there from one of your friends. Told you your friends wouldn't forget you. Usually we bring you balloons or flowers. This week we brought you a wind chime - "a boy and his dog" that we found at Cracker Barrel in Boise. It's the perfect representation of you and Sparky Dog. He still looks for you here at home. He misses his boy. I know you miss your dog. There are lots of my dogs there in Heaven with you that you can play with (if you have time!). On the days that we bring balloons, and every other time we come to the cemetery, the wind is blowing. Yet, just as we get ready to leave, when we're saying "Love you, bye!" the wind stops and the balloons float straight for just a few minutes. Your way of letting us know you're okay. And if it's a cloudy day, the sun always bursts through the clouds, just for a few minutes. We love that! This week, the wind stopped again when we were leaving. That made us laugh a little, because THIS time, we brought you a wind chime...kind of a useless gift when there is no wind... Well, my boy, I'd better go. McKayslin and I need to find something fun to do today - our last day of Spring Break. We were going to go to the zoo with Heidi Mom and family, but the rain here and in Salt Lake changed our plans. Perhaps we'll just snuggle up in your love sac and watch a movie together. I'm not much fun I'm afraid, and days like these cause your little sister to miss you more than ever. I'll do better. Keep working hard. You're doing amazing things up there (and down here!). We love you. We miss you. We're so glad that you're in our forever (FOR.E.VER!) family. Have a good week! Lots of Love, Mom